Daily Prompt: Festivus for the Rest of Us

fireworks

photo credit: c r i s via flickr

Supreme Ruler of the Universe? Me? Did I win the lottery? (Well, I’ve come close). Actually, I always knew that I was born to lead, blue blood or no blue blood. I had the attitude, if not the bloodlines or the physical trappings: mom told me that when I was but a mere babe, all the nurses at the hospital called me Queen. I have been known as a royal pain in the … well, PITA, for short; you can pretty much guess what the ‘A’ stands for. And these days, my demands are usually met with the reply “Yes, Princess.” Although I suspect that there’s probably a fair amount of sarcasm contained within that remark.

Apparently there are obligations that come with assuming the mantle of that immense honour, SRotU. On the SRotU contract, my first order of business is to create and institute a holiday or festival in my honour. Hmmm, couldn’t I just appoint an event planner/organizer to handle that for me? I am, after all, the SRotU. I’ve already planned so many events on behalf of others that’s it’s kind of old hat, but to have a day just for little Me is still, well, a bit daunting. But if the contract insists.

I guess I could pick the first month of the year that Friday the Thirteen falls on to celebrate Lilmisspoutine Day. A rotating holiday! Just to show everyone that triskaidekaphoebia has no place in My, er, I mean, our universe.

The order of the phoenix

photo credit: kenneoh via flickr CC-BY-4.0

A representative from every species must attend, and gift Me with a holographic diorama of their home planet and/or world. Lots of purple-and-gold fireworks are in order when the skies go black. Emerald green Moebius strip streamers signifying the eternity of My rule should be hung from every pole and streetlamp. My flag–which will have a phoenix embossed and embroidered on My personal coat-of-arms–will be flown in the streets of My home planet on that day.

Any kind of alien and human food can be served, but it must also include poutine (in all its variations) and coconut cakes. Il Divo and Josh Groban will be the live headline acts. Facsimiles, reasonable or otherwise, are not acceptable.

Other than that, I am not one for much structure and formality when it comes to festivities; no ostentatious pomp and circumstance. I don’t want mass adulation either, so no filibustering speeches from Me or on My behalf. Just remember Me–briefly, sometime during that day, however you choose to celebrate it–for bringing peace and order to the universe. So the minions know that absolute power and privilege will not go to my head.

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4 thoughts on “Daily Prompt: Festivus for the Rest of Us

  1. Pingback: Sometimes you can’t choose… | Words 'n Pics...

  2. Pingback: Sparkling Wine and Sushi Day | I am Lynn

  3. Pingback: Festivus for the rest of us | Life as a country bumpkin...not a city girl

  4. Pingback: Daily Prompt: Festivus for the Rest of Us | timothyguth1

Your comments are like chocolate for my soul ... I can never get enough of them! Bonus brownie points for witty comments! I love a good turn of phrase. :)

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