Daily Prompt: Trading Places

Tomboy (1985 film)

Tomboy (1985 film) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Have I ever wondered what it would be like to be a member of the opposite sex for a day? What do I think life would be like? As a tomboy in both attitude and appearance–I eschew Barbie Dolls, My Little Ponies, and the wearing of dresses on my person, even to this day–those have been akin to burning questions all my life. (Okay, I never really warmed to cars or earthworms, though).

I’ve always thought of myself as being 50%-50% as far as “brain gender” goes, but an actual brain gender test (taken several times) revealed that my thinking patterns are 95% female (it’s much better than one of my former co-workers, who also took that same test several times, only to be informed that he thought (overwhelmingly) like a female. He was not a happy camper to hear these results. True story). Here’s a short list of what I imagine that life as a guy for a day would be like. Abject apologies to my followers of the male persuasion in advance. My imagination can be a cruel thing.

• Belching does not need to be excused when eating with the guys.
• The same pair of underwear can be worn for a week.
• Apparel co-ordination is moot because I only wear brown, navy, or black.
• I only take five minutes to get ready for any social event.
• Gel is an acceptable alternative to washing one’s hair.
• Shopping takes ten, fifteen minutes, tops.
• I don’t have to understand what a “mani-pedi” is.
• Having wardrobe malfunctions from the waist up isn’t so bad.
• Having my shirt not tucked in is not a cardinal sin.
• Messiness is not only not condemned, it is condoned.
• There is no such thing as a waiting line for the men’s washroom.
• We will never have to worry about playing football in our lingerie.

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8 thoughts on “Daily Prompt: Trading Places

  1. Strangely enough I’ve had dreams in which I was a man. It felt natural in the dream and different certainly from how it feels to be a woman. I call him “the boy within” – strange feeling to wake up with, when for a little while you don’t fully realise that it was a dream and that your gender is the opposite 😉

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